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Diocletian Lewis’ Beanbag
Hacky sack

Origin

Diocletian Lewis

Type

Beanbag

Effects

Burns off alcohol and addictive substances

Downsides

Keeps user moving until exhausted

Activation

Bouncing/Throwing

Collected by

Warehouse 13

Section

Hofman-20195AA

Aisle

255095-8124

Shelf

961782-8245-200

Date of Collection

March 12, 1968

[Source]


OriginEdit

Diocletian Lewis was ever inquisitive into alternative medicine; he claimed curing his wife’s tuberculosis with homeopathy, and championed gymnastics to keep people fit and conditioned.

Then the burgeoning temperance movement entered his gaze, and Lewis devoted his work to stamping out drinking. He would lead visitation bands into saloons to pray for the patrons and bartenders, pushing them out from hundreds of communities. The sheer success of his initiative inspired women to heavily campaign for temperance.

All distaste for anything resembling a malt, tonic or vintage, Lewis’ aversion also extended to people. He pictured all southern Europeans as perpetual drunkards and opposed the new waves of immigrants flowing into the States. In addition, many of the establishments he closed would reopen days later whenever the people thirsted more for a cold brew than a sober night.

EffectsEdit

Bouncing, throwing and rolling it will slowly expunge the user of addictive substances. Alcohol, tobacco, opiates and their ilk will all be stripped clear from the user’s body. However, it has broadened its definition to include excessive fats, sugar, growth hormones, athletic supplements and even allergy medicines.

Although clean for a moment, usage does not remove the addiction itself. In fact, users become more dependent after realizing they can binge away and have a reliable way for resetting their health. Each successive use requires more motion and longer time in use before alleviating their problems. All this escalation causes the user to keep moving until they collapse from exhaustion.

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