Customer Service Cell Phone
Warehouse 13 S01E10-20-08-44-.jpg
"Hello, this is customer service. How may I help you?"




Cell Phone


Causes intense murderous rage




Holding it up to an ear

Collected by

Artie Nielson


The Dark Vault


Podium 13

Date of Collection

July 13th, 2001


Origin[edit | edit source]

Customer service is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. In addition to the nonsense of retail, customer service agents must also frequently take undeserved verbal abuse from customers over the phone.

The only thing more aggravating than working in customer service is dealing with people who work in customer service. After going through a computer automated answering service for five minutes the caller must then wait for a half hour while listening to slow jazz waiting music. After that, they will be transferred no less than three times only to be told at last that their warrantee has expired, making their entire effort pointless.

Usage[edit | edit source]

When it is held up to one's ear, a chipper voice will say, "Hello, this is customer service. How may I help you?" This will be followed by abruptly cutting off to the sound of slow jazz. This will send the listener into a bought of murderous rage. The rampage may go on for hours, and the user will kill anyone and anything near him/her.

When not being held it will constantly ring, hoping to be picked up by someone unwary.

Collection[edit | edit source]

Artie collected this artifact from an office building where a usually mild mannered data input specialist went on a killing spree, butchering all of his managers with a Swing-Line stapler.

Storage and Handling[edit | edit source]

Stored in the Dark Vault. Keep on a cushion laced with neutralizer.

Neutralizer gloves are mandatory. It is advised to wear earpieces laced with neutralizer as well.

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