Consoling Valentine's Day Chocolates


Lonely Single on Valentine's Day


Heart-shaped Box


Produces delicious chocolates for single people


Produces disgusting flavored chocolates for people in relationships


Opening box

Collected by

Myka Bering and Claudia Donovan



Date of Collection

February 19th, 2015



Saint Valentine's Day is an official saint feast day in the Anglican and Lutheran Church. The origin of Saint Valentine is debated, as there are numerous stories of martyrs named Valentine. It is customary to send flowers, chocolate, or cards to significant others.


The ultimate shoulder to cry on, this heart-shaped box will produce an endless supply of delicious chocolates to those that are single and lonely. One only needs to close the empty box and open it again to refill the chocolate supply. However, it is spiteful to those that are currently in relationships. It will provide any flavor or filling that the user finds tasty. For those that are dating or married, the box will produce chocolates that seem normal but taste disgusting. Garbage, moldy cheese, and rotten eggs are common nasty flavors.


Myka and Claudia collected this artifact after a private lawsuit involving an unhappy customer and a private chocolate shop. The suit-filer was a man who had bought the box for his wife. While the man and his wife tasted sweaty gym socks, the chocolatier, a recently divorced man in his forties, said they tasted fine. After collecting the artifact, Myka and Claudia were quick to store this box in a hidden location within the aisle, to save Pete and Artie from themselves. They have been known to bring the box along on "girl's nights" where they watch reality tv together.

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