Thread:Per Ankh/@comment-5947732-20130123214613/@comment-1674153-20130124033503

If you want somebody's approval, you have to get them to like whatever you want them to approve.

If whatever that is doesn't appeal to them, but yet you still want their approval, the logical step is to improve.

To improve requires directioned change.

Directioned change requires admitting of flaws and plans to fix the flaws.

The essence of critique, whether from yourself or from the second party (the person you want the approval of) or even a third party, is the awknowledgement of flaws. The essence of good critique is advice on how to fix the flaws, because it offers directioned change.

So, if one wants to gain another's approval for something, and the person does not feel they can approve it, yet the first person still wants the thing to be approved by the second person, then the logical thing to do is to take critique and utilize it appropriately.

Getting angry at critique is not only hurtful to the person who offered it, but it also never ends up helping the person who wishes to improve whatever it is they created. They never take the critique seriously because they are angry at it, and thus don't take into account any of it's helpful points. Furthermore, it does this person no favors in gaining a positive repor amongst others who may want to help, as they fear if they offer their opinion, they will be met with a similar anger as the first critiquer was met with. In fact, these people may respond with anger whenever the person who wishes to improve asks for their opinion, as a preliminary procedure against a possible outburst of spite. They may also react in anger in order to defend those who have been, in their opinion, treated cruelly. This in turn will provoke more anger from the other side, creating a vicious cycle of tits and tats.

For the sake of all of our emotional and spiritual health, would this just stop?

Spkavyia2012, no matter how much you ask him, Per Ankh will not want to be a part of your website. He dislikes you. He has interpreted your refusal to listen to his desires (his desire to not allow his character into your story, his desire for you to stop posting too many pages, his desire for you to leave him alone) as an act of cruetly on your side. He believes you refuse to respect him and his wishes, and as such, has reacted in order to deny you of any respect he may have for you or your wishes.

He has seen the many times you have reacted with anger against others who offered their opinions about your writing, and how you will spite them. For example, the way you said that I needed to 'check my own mistakes before I go around criticizing others', or how you said that Prof. Draco only had friends over the web. The list of hurtful things you have said to others just goes on. We have reacted to defend ourselves from unnecessary battery. You have reacted because you didn't like our honesty.

For those reasons, and a few more I'm sure Per Ankh could up with, would you please stop trying to get Per Ankh onto your site? He doesn't wish to be a part of it, and every effort you make further pushes him away from you.

I'm sure you're a great person. I really am. I'm sure you are super popular, with loads of friends and a great life, and yes, perfection isn't everything. But none of that really means that you're better than someone who isn't that way, or that perfection isn't something we can't try to attain. And until people here believe that you can accept that we're trying to build each other up to reach the stars and not offering advice to tear one down, no one here is going to want to try and help you. If you don't want our advice, that's fine as well. Just please, if you don't want it, don't put out your material in a place that is going to garner our critique (i.e. the Wiki).

I know that, most likely, you'll respond to this like you've responded to any other of my critiques for you. With anger, with spite...but understand, I don't really care if you hate me. I don't really care if you call me a 'minion' of Per Ankh, or a cyber bully (because I'm not, thank you. I'm standing up to one, right now), or a lonely nerd who only sits in front of his computer all day because he isn't 'super popular' with 'loads of friends' and 'who plays football'. I don't care, because no matter how cruelly your respond to my honesty, I don't back down from being honest.