Samuel Pepys' Wheel of Parmesan Cheese

Origin
Samuel Pepys was an English naval administrator and Member of Parliament who is now most famous for the diary he kept. Although Pepys had no maritime experience, he rose by patronage, hard work, and his talent for administration to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II. The detailed private diary Pepys kept from 1660 until 1669 is one of the most important primary sources for the English Restoration period. It provides a combination of personal revelation and eyewitness accounts of great events, such as the Great Plague of London, the Second Dutch War, and the Great Fire of London.

The cheese wheel was one of his possessions, along with his diary, that he rescued and safeguarded during the Great Fire.

Effects
When any of it is consumed, the user will burst into flames. However, it seems to have no ill-effect on serious diarists, besides any sickness from eating 200 year old cheese.