User blog comment:Krixby87/My Artifact Ideas/@comment-4273152-20160617175330

Well hi. What a way to introduce yourself. Before I critique, I'd like to thank you for making a page like this instead of just making pages, though I'd caution you to be a bit more careful with your grammar and formatting. It makes things easier yto read. Now, we begin.

I'd like to start with the Yokai artifacts as a whole. Traditionally we don't accept mythological creatures existing in the Warehouse universe, and I'd say these qualify. Of them, I'd say the chest is the best. Scrap the others. And leave the effects at aging and animating, instead of a transformation. While I would change the efects for the web, I do like the concept for it as an artifact.

Now the Power Ranger Staff will fit fine, and I'll leave a more knowledgable user to critique that further. The cloak of Bodiharma I actually like a lot. The airplane earrings not so much, they seem lacking in clarification. The lightsaber is perfectly fine, and I like the potential for the dark side to take over as a downside.

The broom is fine, but I'd change the effects regarding destruction and multiplying. Chaotic animation would be enough. Perhaps specify that they cannot be stopped once they start a task. The animatronics can be srapped, as we actually have the FNaF ones already. The snake stone is a very neat origin, and controlling (or perhaps directing would be better) is fitting. But the downside seems a bit random and intense for an otherwise tame artifact.

The bas-relief is a yes from me, laughs were had. I like the idea of the carriage refusing to move more than four tonnes like a stubborn mule, keep that one. Sadly, there are no demons in our standard universe, though one artifact can summon them. This makes the Holy Water situational, and I'd change it to burning sinners.

The animation cells are a bit off, though I can't quite place why. Same wiuth the troll, but I am more fond of that one. The helmet is good, but shock and fear are not the same thing. I'd stick with shock. It has a less prolonged efect, but a more intense one.

The poster is fine as is, we've had simpler things. But I'd expect you to come up with a decent origin story about this specific one. The popcorn cart sounds familiar, is it a reference to a hoax of some kind? And the Luddite hammer is another simple, yet effective one. Keep it.

I've never read the book, but I'm sure it could have some more profound effect than a play on the title. Think on that one. We have enough Holmes artifacts, so I'm scratching that one off the record, no offense meant to your idea. I like Murphy's Law as an effect, but it requires more definition and explaination.

The trains are neat in concept, but the effects don't sit well with me. If it were the entire train set, and it turned you into a wooden model figurine as the trains drove around, I'd like it more. Turning into a train seems too much. The Vajira seems a bit vague, but a solid concept. And I like the movie clapper a lot. It feels like a "Pete" artifact.

Part 2 to come...