Chrysippus' Wine Bottle

Origin
Chrysippus was a Stoic philosopher, who believed detrimental emotions were the product of mistakes in judgment and all events were eventually fated. They desired to be freed from emotions and operate wisely using only clear evidence. Much of his writings regarded his beliefs of existence, such as fate, gods, logic and ethics. One day, he told one of his slaves to let a donkey that was eating figs to wash it down with some wine. After seeing the donkey stumbling around drunken, he collapsed and died from a fit of laughter.

Effects
This artifact was imbued with the power to give whoever drinks from it a boost of intelligence that stimulates the brain and its reflexes. It also alleviates heightened emotional states and mellows the user out to an average emotional level. Afterwards the drinker can feel woozy and feel the need to laugh at everything they see until they die from cardiac arrest and asphyxia.