Customer Service Cell Phone

Origin
Customer service is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. In addition to the nonsense of retail, customer service agents must also frequently take undeserved verbal abuse from customers over the phone.

The only thing more aggravating than working in customer service is dealing with people who work in customer service. After going through a computer automated answering service for five minutes the caller must then wait for a half hour while listening to slow jazz waiting music. After that, they will be transferred no less than three times only to be told at last that their warrantee has expired, making their entire effort pointless.

Usage
When it is held up to one's ear, a chipper voice will say, "Hello, this is customer service. How may I help you?" This will be followed by abruptly cutting off to the sound of slow jazz. This will send the listener into a bought of murderous rage. The rampage may go on for hours, and the user will kill anyone and anything near him/her.

When not being held it will constantly ring, hoping to be picked up by someone unwary. For this reason it is kept on its own pedestal, under a neutralizing field, within the Dark Vault.

Collection
Artie collected this artifact from an office building where a usually mild mannered data input specialist went on a killing spree, butchering all of his managers with a Swing-Line stapler.