User blog:Mr.123/Crazy effects needed

We need some more crazy artifacts. We just do. Ones that are really strange or that just make you go "what the hell?". Original artifacts like the Spine of Saracen, creative ones like the Baylor Dodgeball and powerful ones like the Honjo Masamune. Here are some possible effects, a few which may be too wild to actually work. Come up with an origin, alter the effects where seen fit, and add your own ideas to the list.

Possible Affects Include But are not Limited To...

 * X-ray touch
 * Restores lost civilizations
 * A lost and found
 * Mechanical breath
 * Fires created from dirt and sand
 * Makes objects destructively vibrate (Tomahawk Reflex Hammer)
 * Causes ideas to come to life
 * Liquids become self-autonomous
 * Turns objects into rain
 * Replaces bone with steel, blood with jelly
 * Separates matter on an atomic level
 * Creates a land-based whirlpool
 * Drawings and symbols become protective barriers (Robert Langdon’s Mickey Mouse Wristwatch)
 * Giant rubber duck
 * Air activated power source
 * Hallucinatory causing light
 * Makes the environment recount the truth (William Garrow's Wig and Bands)
 * Explodes radioactive eggs (1950s Skillet)
 * Acidifies the sky
 * Creates storms of ______
 * Increases elasticity (Slue-Foot Sue's Bustle)
 * Unleashes an army of lava creatures
 * Soldifies light
 * Flight enhancing armor
 * Reverses damage
 * Will make people into digging creatures (Vannoccio Biringuccio's Soldo)
 * Cats become four times larger
 * Exploration of cyberspace
 * Gives periods of enlightenment
 * Shifts around cities (Radio Tower from the Warsaw Pact invasion of Czechoslovakia)
 * Plays mariachi music (Oaxaca Pinata)
 * Speaking backwards or in tongues (Babel Stones)
 * Speaking ancient Welsh
 * Speaking pig Latin
 * Perpetually feeling moist or sweaty (William Makepeace Thackeray's Gravy Boat)
 * Spit blue ink
 * slapping yourself in the face
 * losing bowel control (Thomas Crapper's Handbell)
 * voice changes to a pitch only dogs can hear
 * changes user into half-animal things like a mermaid (The Lion man of the Hohlenstein Stadel)
 * makes user square dance
 * User will only taste ashes
 * user will only speak in truths or lies (Sam Hide's Half Crown)
 * develops a fear of puppets
 * see imaginary spiders everywhere (Wilton Ivie's Notebook)
 * develops extreme acrophobia, fear of heights (Irmin Roberts' Camera Lens)
 * user will become extremely buoyant (Angelo Faticoni's Chair, Zodiac Life Boat from the Sinking of the Trashman)
 * user will become allergic to pistachios
 * turns stone into cheese
 * makes passerby's perform the electric slide
 * uncontrollable skipping until they come across a toilet or someone named Lou.
 * Promotes staring
 * Makes everything taste like chocolate
 * User will hate ampersands
 * Turns victim's urine into tea
 * Young women will chase the user
 * user becomes irresistible to farm animals
 * turns words into weapons (Edgar Allan Poe's Quill Pen and Notebook)
 * generates intense static electricity (John Carl Wilcke's Rug)
 * makes user an albino (James Bartley's Britches)
 * user will become magnetic to pudding or other soft-solids (Eli Lilly’s Pills)
 * User will develop an obsession with making shoes
 * sneezing fire
 * boils that pop like bubble wrap
 * uncontrollable break-dancing
 * spontaneous yodeling
 * hair growth on the soles of feet
 * growing a camel hump filled with water
 * farts lemon scented air
 * bees will find you unattractive
 * wallpaper will become sweet like candy (Willy Wonka's Golden Tickets)
 * wood furniture will grow like a tree (Grinling Gibbon's Whet Wheel)
 * dreams about clowns (Red Skeleton’s Doughnut Box)
 * reverses position of orifices
 * urge to brush other people's teeth
 * repeat everything that has been said (Echo's Belt)
 * powered by salsa music
 * makes shadow sensitive to touch
 * boils water in proximity
 * grows beards on infants
 * bedsheets will feel like sandpaper
 * causes male lactation (Flidais' Staff)
 * will create anger towards people from Constantinople
 * Turns teeth into xylophone keys
 * make crickets the size of terriers (Maria Sibylla Merian's Painting Set)
 * sandwiches will turn into cardboard
 * makes user's hands sticky
 * rains cranberry juice
 * causes fashion faux pas
 * coins will fall out of user's ears
 * user will sweat gravy
 * changes phases of the moon
 * converts U.S. standard to metric (Navigational Software from the Mars Climate Orbiter)
 * smelling of rotting leaves
 * changes all clothes to polyester
 * popcorn will grow on trees
 * summons stone turtle statues
 * points to the south pole
 * Hands become trapped in pockets (Francois Nivelon's Sewing Needle)
 * turns glass into sand (Dominick Labino's Glassblowing Tube)
 * flowers will criticize you
 * Michael Bolton music will sound like nails on a chalkboard
 * user will gave names to bologna, then spell it
 * user's house will turn into gingerbread and candy (Dough of Kolobok)
 * obsession with playing board games
 * hyper ticklishness (Catherine the Great's Slippers)
 * throws user's voice and says rude personal remarks
 * cocoons the most valuable resources
 * ritual sacrifice of corn
 * mind aberrations
 * edible teeth (Vipeholm Experiments Candy Jar, Pierre Fauchard’s Needle Nose Pliers)
 * cloud mountains
 * crunches and folds objects flat
 * a lost sea (NWA 7034)
 * moving pictures a la Harry Potter (Eadweard Muybridge's Zoopraxiscope)
 * body-mind control (Cecil B. DeMille's Riding Crop)
 * technological drugs
 * fire worship
 * uncontrollable matter shifting
 * corrosion of water
 * reorientation of gravity
 * splits things into their separate elements/chemical components (Antoine Lavosier's Microscope)
 * releases a cold inducing spore
 * powered by children’s laughter
 * causes fish to fly in the air
 * rewrites local reality only on astronomical days
 * accelerates moving bodies past terminal velocity
 * turns memories into memorials
 * requires minimum 135 people to work (Badge of the 6th Northern Light Infantry)
 * makes yoga poisonous
 * control over one's own bodily systems
 * remembering others memories
 * reversal of ground and sky
 * need to eat exotic animals (Alexandre Étienne Choron’s Menu)
 * plays lullabys that make motion stop
 * absorption of other's intelligence
 * tries to constantly maintain homeostasis in the surroundings
 * places the user in a futuristic base
 * penchance to destroy anything royal/government (Guy Fawkes' Gunpowder and Gun)
 * creates avalanches
 * turns all spirits into water (Henry D. Cogswell’s Drinking Fountain)
 * makes objects spin around at high speed (Alexander Calder's First Mobile, Nadar’s Balloon Basket)
 * crystal aligning do-dad
 * drastically change weight (Otto Lilienthal's Gloves)
 * turns wood back into trees
 * automatically cleans filth
 * flammable ice
 * throws people like baseballs
 * causes all bigots to revert to insects
 * inverts flight
 * makes snow turn into marshmallows and vice-versa
 * swaps organs
 * harms all nearby amphibians
 * complete history of personal feelings will be revealed in newspapers, tv, the internet, etc.
 * user becomes paranoid of numbers
 * allergic reaction to names
 * the tooth fairy
 * makes sports champions unlucky
 * strangers mobbing around the user for their sudden wealth
 * explodes when touches cloth