Timothy Dexter’s Coal

Origin
Timothy Dexter was an American businessman who was considered stupid by many of his peers for his odd transactions. He first started by buying large amounts of devalued Continental currency at the end of the American Revolution. Over time, the government paid back the equivalent, giving Dexter a fortune to start his shipping business. Because he was largely uneducated, his business sense was considered peculiar.

He was inspired to send warming pans for New England winters to the West Indies. His captain sold them as ladles for local molasses industry and made a good profit. Next, Dexter sent wool mittens to the same place, where Asian merchants bought them for export to Siberia. People jokingly told him to "ship coal to Newcastle". He did so during a miners' strike at the time, and his cargo was sold at a premium. At another time, practical jokers told him he could make money shipping gloves to the South Sea Islands. His ships arrived there in time to sell the gloves to Portuguese boats on their way to China. He exported Bibles to the East Indies and stray cats to Caribbean islands and again made a profit; eastern missionaries were in need of the Bibles and the Caribbean welcomed a solution to rat infestation. He also hoarded whalebone by mistake, but ended up selling them profitably as a support material for corsets.

Members of the New England high society rarely socialized with him, viewing him as eccentric/insane. He experienced some incidents, such as faking his death to gauge the mourner’s response and then beat his wife because she did not grieve hard enough.

Effects
The user will make laughable stupid and financially unsound investments as often as they can. They will be ridiculed by their coworkers and seen as an idiot by listeners. However, all their transactions will be coincidentally timed with a sudden need for their stock or product. The user will always leave with an empty stockroom, profit filled accounting books and copiers trying to imitate their impossible success.