User blog:Mr.123/Agent Artifact Challenge Three: Bountiful Times

Hello there, scarecrows in the pumpkin patches and geese in the skies, welcome to November! The leaves are dropping like the temperature as we prepare for the last hurrahs of the harvest season and the start of the holidays. However, something threatens to ruin our latest Thanksgiving (besides the burned stuffing).

A new variant of neutralizer was whipped up to test on peskier artifacts. There was a glimmer of potential at first, until agents realized it only delayed the effects. In fact, they appeared stronger and even weirder when forced to bottle up their energy. Whatever the case, the latest batch was meant to have a little saved for testing and the rest incinerated. Unfortunately, the mix was accidentally dumped into the main works.

Now the Warehouse resembles more of a madhouse. Artifacts are randomly activating, behaving erratic and threatening to compromise the structure of certain areas. Now we must go through the stacks, one by one, and individually capture them. Any neutralizer will worsen the situation further, so the task is to capture frenzied denizens with whatever artifacts you can find along your frolic. Woe is you! But as an upside, we now have a handheld interface to help identify the cataloged artifacts wandering the aisles. Remember your training and field expertise, for things are about to get gooey.


 * The Château de Madrid Majolica normally just shimmers with mystifying patterns that entrance onlookers. It seems to be sparring with Antoni Gaudí's Chisel after it got separated from the accompanying trencadís. Normally, the tiling would prevent the chisel from destabilizing the structure of whatever it contacts. Now, it’s releasing the patterns onto shelves and making them precariously sway back and forth, all filled with artifacts.


 * Mathias Zdarsky’s Ski Bindings have been overturned for a while. Normally, this wouldn’t be cause for alarm, as they tend to flip and tumble by themselves. However, they’ve been supercharged to the point of producing a tremendous amount of snow, which is quickly piling up and engulfing neighboring sectors. The presence of Donn Beach's Cocktail Umbrella isn’t helping either, which is incrementally melting some of the bottom layers into ice and creating avalanche ready conditions.


 * Wilhelm Voight’s Army Uniform has become animated, moving as if it were occupied by a real person. Typical of its nature, the suit has tried to convince several artifacts to follow its own command. Agents last reported seeing it drenched and tattered, running towards the Statue from Trajan’s Column and knocking over Henri Moissan's Fluorine in the process. It must be apprehended quickly, we don’t want another Vesco Fiasco to occur.


 * Pappus of Alexandria’s Hexagon has gone wild! First off, it’s grown to be several meters large when it was just a palm sized figure. The whole shape is pinwheeling around like it’s on the hunt for something. Also, did we mention its slicing whatever it touches into pieces using carefully measured angles? We might need a bigger net for this one.


 * Hon'ami Kōetsu’s Lacquer Box, Carlo Pellegrini’s Spats and Arthur Stace’s Chalk have all been competing against each other, turning the surrounding area into writing, art and back again. Although relatively calm, the area of effects is growing increasingly large with every transition, threatening to turn the Atelier and Writer’s Alley into scribbles.


 * Gustavus Franklin Swift’s Refrigerator Car is barreling through the second focal atrium, activating temperamental artifacts left and right. Wiley Post’s Pressure Suit was ruffled in the chaos, and it appears hellbent on summoning a tornado.


 * Walter H. Thompson’s Telegram and Ephialtes’ Worry Stone are having an intense conversation regarding loyalty. The resulting fires are just the two talking it out.


 * The Tomb of Genghis Khan has thankfully remained inert; likewise, no energy signatures have been detected from Tamerlane’s Tomb . A few aisles over, the same cannot be said for Dionysius Exiguus’ Easter Table, Miss Belvedere and Melchisédech Thévenot’s Spirit Level . Their interaction has begun creating bubbles where time has accelerated, slowed down and even reversed at different rates. Many artifacts with heavy religious or American association are rolling towards them, creating a tangle of artifacts.


 * Jean Paul-Satre’s Paper Cutter has become more powerful from the recent cleaning fluid spill. Instead of disconnecting sociological and metaphysical connections between people and their values, it’s now removing the effects of nearby artifacts. This should be a good thing, but the amount of static being thrown out seems to render that benefit moot. Also, those same effects are manifesting in nearby artifacts, resulting in weird situations. Last time checked, Caspar Wispar’s Shutters were not raising a coalition of artifacts to conquer the world like Sundiata Keita’s Balafon.


 * Wonderful, the ballast has gotten loose! Dave Kunst’s Wagon appears to be trawling across the ceiling. It was probably treading air before it managed to start its slow, inverted trot. This time though, it’s getting a bit too close Thaddeus S.C. Lowe’s Enterprise for comfort. Already creating its own wind, puncturing the skin could release a rain of toxic, carbon monoxide laced water gas. And then there’s the remote chance it might bring an ongoing battle or firefight onto the Warehouse floor.


 * Somebody, preferably Pete, needs to remove Brian G. Hughes Umbrella from the Schoningen Armory ASAP. The pranks and tricks are still as sly as ever, but deadlier when Hyder Ali’s Mysorean Rockets start playing tag with approaching agents.