User blog comment:KCkitkat11/WH13 Reboot Series Idea Script And Treatment/@comment-31772644-20180826084543/@comment-31772644-20180826174942

I think the snag I hit on that bit wax that you'd replaced Artie's scene there with Steve without altering the dialogue or character much. I'm assuming whatever made him afraid of field missions gave him a severe amount of anxiety regading people coming into contsact with artifacts, so his outburst is a little understandable. I did only read up until that point when I made my first comment since I was in a hurry.

I agree with Garr on thinking it's smarter to intruduce Claudia earlier, but the last scene does feel a bit rushed for a Pilot. I'd have ended the first epidsode with Knock Knock and continued directly from that at the start of the next for a slightly smoother flow.

I do like the changes dispite the, more or less, identical episode layout. Familiar, but different enough. Although I worry that it strays too close to remake than reboot. Giving Mrs F. a more direct link to the government is a very nice idea and a good one to bring in early and expand on later.

My last comment is concerning the choice of artifacts. Dante's cross, I like. Having its effect triggered by fire is good, but people do tend to overlook his other two works, Purgatorio and Paradiso. Changing the first artifact from the bloodstone to the blade, plus its unique (ignoring the Benedict arnold one) activation, I like. The playboy bunny, while fitting to Pete's immaturity, i think is a bit off. Doesn't seem to fit the tone, and I have trouble imagining what exactly it is. The origin of the Playboy Bunnies has nothing to do with rabbits, sort of cementing the lesson we all learn very early on in artifact creation, Research Is Vital.

Consider anything I neglected to mention either fine or above average. I was a good read with some very positive ideas for going forward. I don't think you made a misstep in your direction so far, difficult as it is to remove myself from the original series and reminding myself this isn't meant to be 100% the same as what I'm familiar with.